Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
