I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
