she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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