Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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