I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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