I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
