What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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