I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
