So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
