if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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