I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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