what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
