So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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