You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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