Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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