Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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