i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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