Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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