What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
