My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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