Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
