so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
