uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
