i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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