kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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