what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
