Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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