Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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