Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
