Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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