You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
