okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
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Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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