The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
