Where is the hickey?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
