Apparently you make a good broom.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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