Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
