If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize