Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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