I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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