never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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