That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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