i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think I just sharted jello shots
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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