HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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