and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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