I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
sarcasm needs its own font
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
