Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
