Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
