I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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