we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
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you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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