just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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