these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
