I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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