They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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