On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
