I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
