Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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