@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
