This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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