i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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