I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
