we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't deserve a penis
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
